While sometimes the desire to divorce is mutual, it is more common that one spouse initiates the divorce discussion and process. Whether you are the spouse who initiated or not, both of you will likely have feelings of resentment, anxiety, rejection, excitement, hopelessness, anger, and sadness. Wherever you are in this process, your feelings are real, your feelings are valid, and your feelings are going to impact how you divorce.
By choosing mediation, you are choosing to control the outcome and to control your divorce story. While a Judge can tell you who pays what, the Judge cannot help with acknowledging emotions, improving communication, or solving your problems. Choosing the path of litigation inevitably results in blame, bitterness, and damaged relationships. The steps you take now and the process you choose now will have a lasting impact in your life, your pocketbook, your relationship with your spouse, and the relationship you each will have with your children. We help you prepare for the next chapter of your life with a divorce focused on dignity and mutual respect.
What will your divorce story be?
WE BOTH WERE UNHAPPY BUT DIDN'T WANT TO DESTROY OUR RELATIONSHIP
"My husband and I drifted apart after the birth of our second child. We were “roommates” for years and though we didn’t fight or argue a lot, we both knew we just weren’t happy. We knew we wanted to have an amicable divorce and not hire lawyers. I found the circuit court forms and it might as well have been in a different language. I didn’t know where to start and was completely overwhelmed. We wanted to find one person to dot the i’s and cross the t’s. We hired a mediator and were able to reach an agreement and the mediator took care of all the paperwork. I am grateful we went this route as I didn’t want to destroy our ability to be the best parents for our kids."
Our Pro Se Mediation packages includes drafting services from your attorney mediator
WE COULDN'T RESOLVE OUR DIVORCE ON OUR OWN, BUT STILL FOUND A BETTER WAY
"My wife and I had a terrible separation. She was physically and mentally abusive for years and I knew I had to get out. My lawyer filed a restraining order against my wife and that took her from bad to worse. We only communicated in writing and we had to exchange the kids at a police station. My kids were suffering, and our bank accounts were rapidly draining as we paid thousands of dollars to our lawyers each month. I felt trapped in this hamster wheel where we were going nowhere. After over a year of hearings and countless demands for documentation and information, we resolved our divorce using med-arb services. I am grateful that it at least came to an end. Had we not gone the route of med-arb, I believe we would still be litigating in Court two years later."
We are here to help you and your attorneys end the war and stop the bleeding. We offer mediation, arbitration, and med-arb services.
WE KNEW WE NEEDED HELP BUT WANTED THAT PERSON TO BE NEUTRAL
"When my husband and I decided to divorce, we agreed to give mediation a try. I felt that the systematic approach kept us on track and avoided emotionally charged situations. I didn’t know what to expect when we first agreed to mediation, and I was frustrated that we didn’t just jumped right to what I considered to be the most important issues. But I came to realize that going through those steps in the process were critical for our ultimate success and we were able to reach an agreement during the required waiting period. I am relieved that we avoided a battle in court. I have no doubt that this would have devastated us financially and would have destroyed our ability to ever be in the same room again. Although I had to bend in some areas, it was not as hard as I expected, and we were able to explore ideas that I didn’t know were possible. With the divorce behind us, I feel we are in a much better place than where we started."
You can save time, money, and emotional strain when you choose mediation.
I NEEDED TO FEEL LIKE MY SPOUSE AND I WERE ON A LEVEL PLAYING FIELD
"My wife has always handled all of our finances. I worked part-time during our marriage because we wanted one of us to be available to the kids. When the topic of divorce came up, I was really worried because I didn’t know what our finances looked like, and I didn’t know how I was going to support myself. My wife is the type of person who can really dominate a conversation and I was really concerned that I would get steam rolled in the process of divorce and unknowingly sign something that would haunt me forever. No one in my family has ever gone through a divorce so I was really concerned that I didn’t know what I didn’t know and that would put me at an unfair disadvantage. I really appreciated how the mediation process was broken up to allow me to make sure I had all the information I needed to make decisions that were right for me. Our mediator made sure to check-in with me during the meetings so that I was engaged in the process and that my voice was heard. I know that I would not have been able to negotiate with my wife directly, but having the mediator made all the difference."
The divorce mediation process offers both of you the support you need to talk directly. Many parties avoid one another, stop talking, and stop sharing information when a divorce is on the horizon. We are there to support, educate, and empower both of you to make informed decisions.
I DIDN'T WANT MY HURT AND ANGER TO DESTROY MY FUTURE
"I was blindsided when, after thirteen years of marriage, my husband told me he wanted a divorce. I was heartbroken, depressed, and beyond angry. At first, I wanted him to hurt, and I wanted to take the advice of my friends and family and take him to the cleaners. I consulted with a lawyer and would have had to pay a $5,000 retainer. I was told that I should expect the divorce costs to exceed $5,000 but they would not give me an estimate of the total costs. So not only had he left me, but now I was going to have to borrow money from my parents to end the divorce. Fortunately, I was already seeing a therapist for the past two years and my therapist recommended mediation. By processing my hurt and anger in therapy rather than the courtroom, I saved further heartache and thousands of dollars. In the end, we reached an agreement we each thought was fair. We may not be friends, but I have been able to move forward to find my own happiness after divorce."
A divorce is an emotionally devastating and draining experience. All couples have issues which feel overwhelming. If you feel overwhelmed by your divorce, do not be afraid to seek help. The more support you get, the faster you will get through this and be able to move forward. We collaborate with other local mediators to provide interdisciplinary mediation services where, in addition to your lawyer mediator, a mental health professional serves as your Divorce Guide through mediation. Learn more about the types of mediation we offer.
AS A CHILD OF DIVORCE, PROTECTING MY CHILDREN WAS MY TOP PRIORITY
"When I was sixteen years old, my parents went through a terrible divorce. Splitting up was likely the right decision, but the way they did it damaged everyone around them. My mom blamed my dad, and my dad blamed my mom. My siblings and I were put in the middle and the conflict was so high that the Court ordered each of my siblings to see a psychologist and a guardian ad litem. I felt like I was living a double life. My grades suffered, I became depressed, and I just felt so alone. They were so wrapped up in their own emotions that they just couldn’t see how much we were suffering. When my wife and I decided to separate, I knew I did not want this for my children or for myself. Through mediation, my wife and I were able to keep our children at the center of the negotiation table as opposed to being in the middle of conflict. We focused on what was in their best interests and my ex and I can still celebrate birthdays and special events with the kids for the kids."
You can feel proud about how you handled your divorce. Find the path that is right for you.
WHEN DIVORCE IS WAR, NO ONE WINS
"My spouse and I were married for 20 years but were unhappy for the last 10. I worked long hours and built the life that we had. I paid for everything and it will be over my dead body before I give them a single dime. I want to bleed them dry so they have nothing left to hire a lawyer and will just agree to whatever I put in front of them."
If you are looking for war and revenge, we are not for you. When you are ready to focus on solutions and moving forward, we are here.